Chapter 26 – Lamentation
「And what if so?」
「……no, are you serious」
「I love Wilhelm-sama. It is not like, it has anything to do with Zack」
While saying that, I felt like crying.
“I long for him”, I have said it many times. But even so, Wilhelm-sama would not accept my feelings.
Today, being rejected like this, I must not approach Wilhelm-sama anymore.
I want to act strongly in front of Zack.
「No, well……it’s true that it doesn’t have anything to do with me」
「If so, please do not intrude」
「……haa. The man you’re acting as a visiting wife, bringing a basket for, it’s the 62 years old Captain huh……what kind of joke is that」
Zack sighed like that while he scratched his head.
Is there something wrong with that?
No one, no one would understand that I am seriously longing for Wilhelm-sama.
It is already, in front of the mansion.
If possible, I want to immediately return to my room and cry.
I do not want my heart’s wound, be touched upon more than this.
「What is it?」
「I don’t know what happened, but……」
He stepped on the greatest explosive for me.
「……were you rejected?」
That is right, I am.
I was choosing words like, “I was not accepted”, “I was refused”, words that would not hurt my heart.
Zack’s words, it really, it really points to my situation.
「Ah〜……as I’ve thought」
「……it, it has nothing to, do with you!!」
「What the heck is Captain thinking. Refusing such a young wife…… Yeah. It’s true that it has nothing to do with me. But, you know……I’m a knight who swore loyalty to you」
“Although I’m still a trainee”, Zack said that while smiling.
It is not like, I want something like Zack’s loyalty.
What I want, what I only want is Wilhelm-sama.
Because I understood the situation, I cannot stop my tears.
I acted strongly in front of Zack, but even so, I did not have ways to stop the flowing tears.
Because of that, the people passing by looked at us with weird eyes.
That cannot be helped either.
If one looks from the side, it probably looks like a crime of passion no matter how you look at it.
「The person I swore my loyalty to is crying. I won’t be a knight if I didn’t care」
「If so! Please! Leave me alone already!」
「No. You’re only going to cry by yourself in your room right? Will you be saved by that? Of course you’ll only be more hurt」
“Haa”, Zack let out a deep sigh.
「For me, you are my Master. If you tell me to die, I shall die. As long as that is something that you really want. That’s why, I think it’s about how you think about it」
「What, are you……!」
「I belong to the Order of Knights. And so, the captain of the Order of Knights is Wilhelm-sama. And on the side, the person you love is also Wilhelm-sama」
「Something like that, of course I know! Enough already, please go back!」
I went through the entrance of the mansion together with a strong rejection.
After that, he could not follow anymore. It was because he knows what would happen if he enters within the property of the House of the Duke.
However, even so, Zack shouted.
「I’m your knight! Use me!」
Use? What use are you saying?
I was already, rejected by Wilhelm-sama.
This feeling, it cannot be dyed by any color other than despair.
「You were rejected by Wilhelm-sama right! But! If so! You only need to come to the order of knights, and chase him more actively! If you need a reason to come to the order of knights, I’ll be that! Things like how Captain thinks of Carol, I’ll even obtain that information! After all, I belong to the order of knights!」
I continued to walk, never turning around.
Right now, I do not want to think of anything about this reality.
I just want, I just want to rest.
「Natalia, chase him off!」
Together with those words, Natalia started walking to behind me.
In there, the shouting Zack.
One hit, *Gon*, together with that unsettling sound, it became quiet.
However, it is not the time for worrying about that.
These feelings that would not calm down, they became tears and fell down. My face must have become one that I cannot show in front of people.
But, even so, it won’t stop.
I don’t have reasons to live anymoreーー.
My sight became blurry, I cannot see anything.
However, I saw a red something in the entrance of the mansion.
It was completely red like blood, however, I cannot even grasp its outline.
I collided with that soft think.
「Welcome back, Carol」
A warm palm that slowly patted my head.
There finally, that red thing.
I understood that, it is Mother.
「You’re late, Carol. “Come with mother in the afternoon”, did I not tell you that」
My overflowing tears, they would not stop even so.
Rather, because Mother is there.
Thinking of the unlimited kindness she pats my head, it would overflow more.
「What in the world, happened?」
「Mo, ther……I, was……」
「It is alright, Carol. Mother is here. The thing that bothers your heart this much, tell me」
I embraced the soft Mother, and cried from the bottom of my heart.
I was not even, crying outside like this.
But even so, I.
I wept and cried like a child.
「I was! I was! Wilhelm, sama!」
「I was, I was rejectedd!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!」
I cried and shouted not caring for shame or reputation.
But even so, Mother continued patting my head unchangingly.
I do not know what kind of expression she has. The thing that I could do, was to hug her tightly, cry and shout.
I cannot suppress these swirling emotions.
Until I got tired of crying and my tears run dry.
I cried in Mother’s chest.